My family decided it was time to, um, "save me".
They said they know what I'm doing and have to put a stop to it. That means that they decided I have to eat whenever they eat, and one of them have to make my plate and make sure I eat it all. They said that they'd only put what they would eat themselves, but I noticed every extra bite.
It's been a few months of that.
There are three more months until summer break. During summer, I'll be out of the house so often that they won't notice when I do (or don't) eat. I just have to make it until then, that's the hard part. I don't know how I'm going to, because I just want to cry every time I look down at my thighs in this chair, or my stomach when I change, or a mirror. When I go to my boyfriend's (meaning R, still :D) I'm too self conscious to do anything that doesnt involve clothes.
I hate this so much.
I didn't write because I've been so scared.
Last time I checked the scale, I was at 120. That was so long ago, and I know for sure I've gained more than that because I can put my jeans on and KNOW. Nothing fits any more. I hate this, so so much.
Support, please? I think I'm dying.
I'm trying to just stay positive by thinking about how gorgeous I'll look by the end of summer.