Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Baby, You're All I Need.

Yesterday was all right. I don't know for sure how many calories I had, but I didn't eat much.

I'm slowly making my way back down to 110. The little needle on the scale was right in between 110 and 115 this morning. I'm scared to eat, for fear that it will shoot right back up. I'm not going to eat until 3:30, and even then only if I have to. That's three hours, and I'm already hungry, so I'll probably end up eating a 50 cal yogurt...50 cals isn't that bad. And then at six I'll eat another.

R and I have been talking. Last night, he apologized profusely for his stupidity, and admitted he wanted me back. We established that life's hell without each other, but nothing really came of it. I'm hoping we'll talk again today, and something will actually happen.

A lot of people I know are going to be upset when I take him back, but I don't really care. I know how he is, they don't. He gets all twisted up inside his own head if he has to deal with himself for too long. His mind is scary to him. Sometimes all he needs is time to cool off. I know he has his ups and his downs, and he deserves to have someone that's willing to stay a steady pace for him, and I don't know anyone better for that job than me.
Anyway, back on subject. Christmas is scary. I don't want it to make me go backwards. Apparently this year we're not going to have a whole big meal with a lot of main dishes, we're just going to have a bunch of snack food. That could be a good thing, if I can control myself.


  1. i prefere snack foods at christmas as opposed to a sit down dinner. at least with snack foods you can walk around while pretending to eat.:)
    christmas scares the crap outa me, im hoping i dont gain more than a pound. fingers crossed!
    your doing so good. im so jealous of your weight right now, cant wait till i catch

    stay strong


  2. I start writing a blog about my life with my eating
    disorder and my addiction to fashion. I really need readers,
    because in my real life I had no listeners. Alone, yes I was
    always alone with my thoughts, in those days I didn't care about it.
    Untill I discovered the blogs and learnt how good it can feel to have
    readers. Readers, which share the same intress and have the same
    feelings after a shitty snack attack.

    Plz, visit me: